Trust the greater design
Thank you for being here. If you were not reading it, I would not have got the inspiration to write this piece. And if I would not have got the inspiration to write this I would not have looked at the amazingly brighter side of life.
Yes, when I went for my last 10 days Vipassana course, I had gone with an anticipation of sitting for the meditation. Last year I had sat for my first long course – 20 days Vipassana course. And I intended to go for my first 30 days Vipassana course in November 2009. To be eligible for that I was required to sit for this 10 days course. I was happy and excited till the evening – I mean one hour before the commencement of the course. And then I was called in to the office of the center.
I was requested by the management to provide service for the course instead of sitting. They were short of service providers and I had the experience of service. I was in a dilemma. I would not get another 10 days of leave before November to take a 10 days course before November. So if I provide service and not sit for meditation, I will lose the chance of sitting for a 30 days course and have to wait probably for another year.
I made an attempt to explain my situation but the need of the hour took precedence. I provided service grudgingly for two days. I brought my inner conflict for a discussion with the teachers. But they counselled me to rise up to the occasion treating it as ‘call of Dhamma’.
I was torn between my own goal and the benefit of others. At one point I used feel as a victim and complain to the Universe, why this happened? And another moment I used to feel who am I? What is my purpose of being here? Was it all pre decided? I had a choice now – remain disturbed and distribute that energy to others or accept the situation and offer my best possible service.
I decided for the latter choice. After an unhindered meditation session of two hours I was peaceful and enjoyed the responsibility. It was a tremendous learning about myself and very empowering process. Knowing that I have no aversion towards any meditators despite many incidences which did hit my ego and could have led to me being agitated was absolutely amazing. I was truely ready for service and was able to practise the precepts of Panchsheel to a large extent. This self discovery was thrilling.
After the course was over I consulted the teachers for a 20 days course. They said that I should consult the area teacher for permission.
I was certain to hear a ‘NO’ and did not dare any consultation for two months. After two months something inside me again pushed me to ask and find out for sure. I wrote the whole experience and sent to the area teacher asking for his permission and think of it – I have got the permission to sit for 30 days course!!!!
This is a situation many times I am sure you all must have faced sometime or other. You have decided something for yourself and then things go completely opposite. And we feel powerless. And we all face this choice – either we crib and be unhappy in that situation and make others also unhappy or we simply accept that it might be the best course of action for the time being. There might be greater design for my betterment.
Acceptance seems tough. But if you are able to do that, then always there is a lesson in it. And a better situation manifests better than what you had thought of.
How to not be sad and lift mood and accept a situation which you had not wanted? How do I do that? I will come back on this again. Till then good night.
Yes, when I went for my last 10 days Vipassana course, I had gone with an anticipation of sitting for the meditation. Last year I had sat for my first long course – 20 days Vipassana course. And I intended to go for my first 30 days Vipassana course in November 2009. To be eligible for that I was required to sit for this 10 days course. I was happy and excited till the evening – I mean one hour before the commencement of the course. And then I was called in to the office of the center.
I was requested by the management to provide service for the course instead of sitting. They were short of service providers and I had the experience of service. I was in a dilemma. I would not get another 10 days of leave before November to take a 10 days course before November. So if I provide service and not sit for meditation, I will lose the chance of sitting for a 30 days course and have to wait probably for another year.
I made an attempt to explain my situation but the need of the hour took precedence. I provided service grudgingly for two days. I brought my inner conflict for a discussion with the teachers. But they counselled me to rise up to the occasion treating it as ‘call of Dhamma’.
I was torn between my own goal and the benefit of others. At one point I used feel as a victim and complain to the Universe, why this happened? And another moment I used to feel who am I? What is my purpose of being here? Was it all pre decided? I had a choice now – remain disturbed and distribute that energy to others or accept the situation and offer my best possible service.
I decided for the latter choice. After an unhindered meditation session of two hours I was peaceful and enjoyed the responsibility. It was a tremendous learning about myself and very empowering process. Knowing that I have no aversion towards any meditators despite many incidences which did hit my ego and could have led to me being agitated was absolutely amazing. I was truely ready for service and was able to practise the precepts of Panchsheel to a large extent. This self discovery was thrilling.
After the course was over I consulted the teachers for a 20 days course. They said that I should consult the area teacher for permission.
I was certain to hear a ‘NO’ and did not dare any consultation for two months. After two months something inside me again pushed me to ask and find out for sure. I wrote the whole experience and sent to the area teacher asking for his permission and think of it – I have got the permission to sit for 30 days course!!!!
This is a situation many times I am sure you all must have faced sometime or other. You have decided something for yourself and then things go completely opposite. And we feel powerless. And we all face this choice – either we crib and be unhappy in that situation and make others also unhappy or we simply accept that it might be the best course of action for the time being. There might be greater design for my betterment.
Acceptance seems tough. But if you are able to do that, then always there is a lesson in it. And a better situation manifests better than what you had thought of.
How to not be sad and lift mood and accept a situation which you had not wanted? How do I do that? I will come back on this again. Till then good night.
Comments